6 Lessons On How To Improve Our Relationship With Money - Thasunda Duckett.
Our relationship with money.
Everyone is obsessed with money. Everyone thinks that the world revolves around money – and it mostly does – but your money is a means to an end, not the end itself. If you are suffering from poor control over money like 46% of all Americans, the speech given by Thasunda Duckett will help you find the motivation and knowledge needed to improve your life.
Money should not be a source of anxiety.
Money should not be a source of anxiety
When asked the question of the importance of money in one’s life, Thasunda explains, many people will start feeling anxious and then the insecurities will kick in. People start emulating their poor decision-making skills on money and then get “super stressed out”.
Thasunda explains the issue of money being a source of anxiety with a very simple example: financial health. 46% of all Americans will struggle to come up with “400 dollars in the event of an emergency” – which could perhaps refer to paying bills or medical concerns. She also says that 60% of all Americans have to face this emergency once a year.
Talk about it.
Lesson 01: Talk about it
The first lesson that Mrs. Duckett teaches us about improving our relationship with money is to have friends to talk about it with. She confesses that “you can’t do it alone”. Everyone runs into issues with money, and sometimes multiple brains are better than one. Surround yourself with friends who have the motto of “no judgement, no shame” so you can feel comfortable sharing anything with them.
Nothing should be off-limits
“Nothing should be off-limits” is how she explains how people should try to explain their monetary issues with their friends. A good friend is always ready to listen, and one should never feel ashamed of sharing their personal feelings with someone who they trust.
Understand what money is.
Lesson 02: Understand what money is
You cannot deal with a problem unless you understand what is causing it. “Money is not the end-all-be-all” unlike what many people believe. Money is not omnipotent, and life’s goal isn’t to make enough money. Money should only be helping you accomplish your goals. “Money does not define you” – is something a lot of people need to engrave into their brains and hearts. Even though many people believe otherwise, one should not think that just because they have a lot of money, their problems will fade away.
Stop chasing money
People start chasing money because they are confused about their life. They don’t have an actual aim. Sure, making more money can make your life a tad easier, but just money won’t make it worth living. One needs to understand that they should not be chasing money, but rather their ambitions. Money comes and goes as it pleases. In other words, “it is just a process to achieve what is important to you most”.
Identify what’s important to you.
Lesson 03: Identify what’s important to you
Many people have an aim when they are trying to make money. For example, for many people, earning money is all about being able to pay for your car or paying off your loans. For many people, they have already figured out what they are going to do with money, but some people just start randomly earning money thinking they will find something to do with it afterwards.
“It will include short-term goals”
Mrs Duckett explains that the only way one will be able to improve their relationship with money is they know what their short-term goals are. For example, if they are saving up for a car, their short-term goal will be to start saving a certain percentage of their earnings for that car. For people who are saving to pay off your debt loans, the short-term goals will be to pay off a fixed amount of money each paycheck.
“And it will include long-term goals”
Anyone can have short-term goals, but you can’t achieve something big if you don’t have long-term goals and ideals that you follow closely. For example, the long-term goals for buying a car can be saving up enough money for a year to be able to afford one. For loans, your long-term goal could be to pay it off completely in a steady manner.
And then really picture it.
Lesson 04: And then really picture it
This is an extremely important and often ignored lesson on how to improve one’s relationship with money. One cannot live the life they want if they cannot follow through the rules and goals that they set for themselves. To improve their behavior, Mrs. Duckett recommends getting a poster board.
She goes on to explain that the poster board should be filled with all the goals and ideas that you have made up in your mind. You need to start thinking about “Oh, how can that really help?”. The poster board will become your vision board that will be “a representation of where you want to go and then how you live your life”.
It’s not what you make, it’s what you keep.
Lesson 05: It’s not what you make, it’s what you keep
Money is extremely volatile. It comes and goes very fast. Some people work for weeks before they can pay for their utility bills – which leaves them with nothing after paying. The important thing to remember when improving your relationship with money is to know that “it’s not about what you make, it's about what you keep”.
Set a rhythm
Mrs. Duckett says that it is important to set a rhythm for how you spend your money. For example, if you open up a savings account, you need to have a proper rhythm where you add in money to that account slowly, but surely. One thing that we all learn through music is that breaking tempo can lead to ruining the entire song. Similarly, breaking the rhythm can have negative impacts on your end-goal.
Use the general 24-hour rule
If you have a problem of going on a shopping spree when you get paid, follow the general 24-hour rule where you “wait 24 hours, go back and ask yourself ‘Do I really need it?’… hit delete and you got your fix”. This is a simple but effective way to save up a lot of money.
Be good to yourself.
Lesson 06: Be good to yourself
The final lesson that we should not forget is to properly determine your self-worth. Mrs. Duckett very explicitly states that “your self-worth is not determined by your net worth”. Meaning that even if your peers are making more money than you, it is not something to feel ashamed about.
As long as you are meeting your goals, you should celebrate your wins and don’t feel ashamed. Just continue with your tempo and everything will work out for the best.
Chase your dreams.
These 6 extremely thought-provoking lessons on money should help you save up enough money to chase your dreams.